When is it acceptable to decorate for Christmas? I have seen quite a spread. I have even seen a house decorated for Halloween one week into November sitting next to another house with Christmas decorations on it. I went digging a little to see if there was a consensus among Americans on the issue. I found a poll from YouGov.com that confirmed some of my suspicions. 24% of the people polled said the right time to start their holiday decorating is the day after Thanksgiving. That makes sense and is roughly aligned with what my family does. Growing up was different. We decorated later into December because we always brought home a real tree. My dad didn’t want it to be dried out so we had to wait. Now I have an artificial tree and that is no longer a concern. According to the same poll, 16% of us decorate in early December while 15% decorate in mid November. A scant 2% of us start our Christmas decorating before Halloween, and 1% wait until a week before Christmas.
What about the inside vs. outside decorating debate? Most people who do some kind of Christmas decorating actually do “deck the halls.” That is, their decorations include the inside of the house. And 43% will decorate outside.
Thanksgiving is the time when you start to hear the Christmas songs on the radio and in department stores. I remember when I was in college going to a choral concert before finals and hearing, for the first time, the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” I must have had a sheltered life growing up because that song wasn’t new. It was written in 1963 by Edward Pola and George Wyle, and was recorded and released in the same year by Andy Williams (in the aptly named “The Andy Williams Christmas Album.” I fell in love with the song immediately, probably because it was so new to me. Now I hear it every year, and as is common with most things I have heard many times before, I don’t give the lyrics much thought.
Let’s fix that. Here they are:
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you be of good cheer
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It’s the hap-happiest season of all
There’ll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There’ll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
There’ll be much mistletoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It’s the most wonderful time of the year
Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year? What does the song say about what makes it so wonderful? Are kids really jingle-belling? Is everyone telling you to be of good cheer? That isn’t happening to me. And even if it did I don’t know that I would say that makes Christmas the best time of the year.
Another iconic Christmastime experience is the seemingly never-ending Hallmark movies that accentuate the season. What makes things so wonderful for the main characters of those stories? There is usually family or friends. There are gifts and warm feelings. People fall in love and all have a happy ending. But is that what makes Christmas wonderful?
There is an expectation that we should be happy at Christmas. And if you are, well that’s great. But what if you’re not? The big issue is that everything around you is pushing you in that direction. The songs. The movies. The decorations. The parties. They all combine to show us a picture of what we think life should be during the season. When we compare that idealism to our own lives we often come up short.
What were the expectations for the messiah? There were three big ones. One of them was a military expectation. Some believed the messiah would come as a person who restored David’s Kingdom. Others had a cultural or priestly expectation. And still others pictured an ethical revival. Not meeting these expectations led to disappointment, anger, and ultimately crucifixion.
What did Jesus actually bring? He brought life and hope, peace and joy, love and healing. If only the people would have expected that.
What about our holiday expectations? Many professionals counsel a different approach from feeling happy. Instead the guidance is to feel and acknowledge every feeling that comes to you throughout the day. Know that you will experience a range of emotions, not just happiness. We are not built to be perpetually happy. Psychologists say we should name our reactions and not suppress our frustrations when they come. Process that emotion so that it can pass. You can also prioritize doing the things you like and quite the things you don’t. If you hate cooking a holiday meal make other arrangements. Trade in traditions you don’t like for those that you do. Pick up something that brings you joy. Maybe reflect on Jesus coming into the world and what that means. People expected one thing, but they needed something else. Help yourself by focusing on what really matters in your life.