I think the first time I heard the term “people watching” was during a trip to a theme park. I remember seeing a man sitting alone on a bench. I struck up a conversation with him and he explained that he was there just to watch the people in the park. It seemed a little odd a the time but now that I have traveled a lot more I see the appeal. There are a lot of people out there, and we are all interesting in very different ways. Theme parks, airports, libraries, and the mall are all great places to observe others.
I talked to my class about this recently, asking them what kinds of things they looked for when they watch others. In no particular order here are some things they said.
They look at the clothes people wear.
They look at the jewelry people have on (or are stuck with).
They look at the body language and mannerisms people have.
And sometimes we comment while we people watch. Sometimes, if we are with others doing the same thing, we might remark about the clothes people wear, or the mannerisms people have.
“I can’t believe they are wearing that in the winter.”
“I wonder why they got that pierced.”
“Why are they acting that way?”
Every time I am waiting to turn left at an intersection with a traffic light I make it a point to watch all the other drivers as they turn close to me. A lot of times the turn they make is a little too close. I silently judge them.
We do this with houses too. I grew up in a small town and I remember going to church once and seeing a newly painted house along the way. The house was painted bright pink. I remember the conversations shortly thereafter. “Can you believe someone painted their house THAT color?” It’s not like we lived near a beach. Everyone knows that houses near a beach get a pass when it comes to weird colors.
This is called house shaming, and it extends to more than just colors. It also includes judging people on the state of their yard and exterior. This is precisely what happened with a lady in Pinson, Alabama not too long ago. Here is the story as told by simplemost.com:
Randa Ragland has a lot happening in her life right now, but an angry note she discovered in her mailbox, with no name or return address, made her take pause. The note shamed Ragland for the outward appearance of her home.
“Neighbor — Please take pride and straighten up the exterior of your house,” the note read. “Your eyesore is affecting the resale value of OUR homes. Who wants to buy a house near you and have to look at that daily?”
You have all heard of the phrase in the bible about judgement haven’t you? The story in Matthew is pretty popular.
Matthew 7:1-5
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
At first glance this seems pretty straightforward. I mean, who really wants to be judged anyway?
Actually, we all do. As long as that judgement is favorable.
Admit it. You love to get compliments. “I like your outfit.” “Your music was great the other night.” “I liked what you had to say about…”
These are all judgements, and we love to get them. It’s the negative judgements we don’t like so much. I think that is what Jesus was talking about.
There is a lot of negative judgement out there. Maybe it’s because if you judge someone the impression you leave is that you are at least in part an authority to do so. Or maybe it means that you are setting yourself up as someone who would act better, or dress better, or do whatever better than the person you are talking about. So judging someone harshly is a way of building yourself up to others.
Jesus says to do just the opposite. Work on yourself before you attempt to work on someone else.
The season of Lent has something to teach us here about judging. It is a time of self-reflection, and time to look critically at yourself instead of looking critically at others. To get you started here are a few questions you can ask of yourself.
Am I honest?
Do I enjoy prayer?
How do I spend my spare time?
Is there anyone I hold a grudge against? If so, what am I doing about it?
Is Christ real to me?
What if we helped people instead of judging them? What if we found a yard that was in disrepair and instead of judgement we offered to help? Let’s revisit the earlier story about a woman’s house. Here is the rest of that account.
At first, I felt a little angry,” Ragland told CBS 42. “But so much has been going on with us and our family. I just didn’t have the energy to be negative.”
Ragland had recently learned that her 3-year-old son, Jaxen, who has autism and is nonverbal, is fighting for his life. Jaxen was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma, a form of childhood cancer. He’s had seven surgeries and has been hospitalized more than 20 times.
In an effort to encourage some kindness and compassion for others, the mom decided to post the note on Facebook and share Jaxen’s story — and explain just how much of their lives they spend in hospitals, clinics and doctors’ offices.
The post took off, and all of a sudden, people started arriving at Ragland’s home in Pinson, Alabama. A lawn care service showed up and cut the grass. Strangers appeared and began tidying up the front yard. Someone even brought a chainsaw for the clean-up effort.
Kimberly Davis was one of the neighbors who jumped in to spread the word. She reposted Ragland’s pictures and story and added a few choice words of her own.
“This makes me so Mad for (Randa) to even have to deal with some idiot from her area that isn’t even man/woman enough to say who they are,” Davis wrote. “This Family needs our HELP. So let’s make something happen for this family.
Let’s make something happen indeed, by first looking at ourselves and being the best people we can be.
God Bless