Proverbs is an interesting book.
But how many people would decide to read from it very often? I’m guessing not that many. The book is part of what is called “Wisdom Literature“ (other books of that type are Psalms, Job, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon). These books are interesting because they tell us how the world works. You can get a sense of what the world is like from reading them and getting sage advice about how to handle different situations. For example here are two such pieces of wisdom for you:
Proverbs 27:14
If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.
Proverbs 25:17
Don’t visit your neighbors too often, or you will wear out your welcome.
That is indeed true wisdom.
Proverbs starts with a prologue and then jumps right into this kind of advice. If you haven’t read it (or don’t remember) what do you think is the first piece of advice it gives? Think about that for a minute and then read the following to see if you were right:
Proverbs 1:8-19
8
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
9
They are a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck.
10
My son, if sinful men entice you,
do not give in to them.
11
If they say, “Come along with us;
let’s lie in wait for innocent blood,
let’s ambush some harmless soul;
12
let’s swallow them alive, like the grave,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
13
we will get all sorts of valuable things
and fill our houses with plunder;
14
cast lots with us;
we will all share the loot”—
15
my son, do not go along with them,
do not set foot on their paths;
16
for their feet rush into evil,
they are swift to shed blood.
17
How useless to spread a net
where every bird can see it!
18
These men lie in wait for their own blood;
they ambush only themselves!
19
Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain;
it takes away the life of those who get it.
Interesting isn’t it? What is really going on here? A father is talking to his son and warning him not to go along with a gang of ruffians. So if you guessed “peer pressure” you got it right. That wasn’t really that tough of a question, considering the title of this message.
How would you define peer pressure? Here is how Merriam-Webster does it:
“a feeling that one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group in order to be liked or respected by them.”
Notice how it says what the temptation is. The proverbial carrot being dangled ahead of us is that we will be liked by others in our age bracket or social group. This kind of thing starts really early too. We see it in preschool. What do little kids often say when they get mad at each other?
“You’re not my friend!”
Or how about this one?
“If you do this for me I will be your friend.”
This is peer pressure, plain and simple. It starts when we are young and can stay with us all our lives. Why do people engage in peer pressure? That answer is simple too. It works! People do things because they want to be liked by others. There are a lot of statistics that back that up.
- 85% of High School Students Have Felt Peer Pressure
- 28% of Kids Say That Giving in to Peer Pressure Helps Move Up the Social Ladder
- 70% of Teen Smokers Started Smoking Due to Peer Pressure
- 20% of 56+-Year-Olds Feel Peer Pressure to Drink More Alcohol
- One-Third of Teen Boys Feel Pressured to Engage in Sexual Activity
- Around One in Four Teen Girls Feel Pressured to Have Sex
- 40% of Teens Feel Pressured to Only Post Content That Makes Them Look Good
Peer pressure combined with driving for teens can get really scary. According to some research, teen drivers’ risk of death rises by 44% when another teen Is in the vehicle. Teen drivers Are 2.5 times more likely to take a risk behind the wheel when there is one teen passenger, and teen drivers are 3 times more likely to take risks while driving when there are 2 or more teen passengers.
Peer pressure can be a big problem. But it isn’t all bad. That social pressure can also be applied to get you to do the right thing. Teens are more likely to make positive choices for themselves when they see their peers doing positive things, like joining school clubs, speaking up against bullying, and volunteering. The old adage about surrounding yourself with good people really does work out.
So if peer pressure can be good or bad how do we manage it? Look back at the passage from Proverbs. It says “if sinful men entice you.” Maybe it would help to ask yourself what kind of character exists with the people trying to get you to do something. Think of a role model in your life. Is this something they would be ok doing?
We can also take our time with decisions. Often negative peer pressure comes with some artificial time limit for you to make a decision. Take the time to think about what you might be getting into. Set boundaries, and consider the reasons behind the request.
And read Proverbs. Wisdom is waiting.
God Bless.