Pauline Phillips was born in 1918 into a home of Russian Jewish immigrants. She and her identical twin grew up together and had remarkably similar lives, including both getting married in a joint ceremony in 1939 at age 21. Their parents told them they were half of the same egg. They grew up playing the violin and leaned toward journalism for their careers. Pauline started out writing for the San Francisco Chronicle and created an advice column that eventually got published in over 1200 newspapers. For the column she adopted a pen name, “Abigail Van Buren,” named after the biblical figure Abigail and the former US president Martin Van Buren.
Pauline called her column “Dear Abbey.” Perhaps you have heard of it. It is impossible to give a full accounting of her column in such a small space but I did compile a small list of what I thought to be very notable responses she has had over the years to people seeking advice:
Dear Abby: Our son married a girl when he was in the service. They were married in February and she had an 8 1/2-pound baby girl in August. She said the baby was premature. Can an 8 1/2-pound baby be this premature? —Wanting to Know Dear Wanting: The baby was on time. The wedding was late. Forget it.
Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? —Ed
Dear Ed: It’s O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she’s frying bacon.
Dear Abby: What’s the difference between a wife and a mistress? —Bess
Dear Bess: Night and Day.
Dear Abby: About four months ago, the house across the street was sold to a “father and son” — or so we thought. We later learned it was an older man about 50 and a young fellow about 24. This was a respectable neighborhood before this “odd couple” moved in. They have all sorts of strange-looking company. Men who look like women, women who look like men, blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday I even saw two nuns go in there!… Abby, these weirdos are wrecking our property values! How can we improve the quality of this once-respectable neighborhood? —Up In Arms
Dear UP: You could move.
It might shock you to realize “Abby” and no formal qualifications at all (not even as a journalist). So why was it that so many people wrote to her asking for her advice? For that matter, why would anyone write into an advice column? Would you? You don’t know the person on the other side. Why would you think they would be qualified to give you good advice at all?
I think the answer is simply that people are seeking answers, and they believe the person reading their question will somehow give a good one. Or maybe it is just as an acknowledgment of their quandary or pain. Putting pen to paper on their troubles might in some way serve to alleviate their burden, if only a little bit. Maybe when we have our troubles published we know we are not alone.
There is a word we use what we are looking for.
Wisdom.
The bible says a lot about this, especially in the book of Proverbs.
Proverbs 15:22
Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 12:15
The way of fools seems right to them,
but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 19:20
Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Who have you asked advice from in the past? Who would you go to today for advice? Is God on that list? What if you set up a booth at a fair or farmers’ market and advertised free advice? What would you think would happen? That is exactly what a group of seniors did in Salt Lake City. They called themselves the “Old Coots,” a group made up of retired people (six in all). They got bored with just chatting amongst themselves, so one day they packed up and moved across the street to a farmer’s market and offered free advice. And to their great surprise, they got a lot of visitors, especially from younger adults.
People came to them because they were hungry. People want advice. We seek wisdom. And if you offer it, people will come.
God Bless